I Do Not Write

I do not write for you, invisible existence. I write for He who knows my name and loves me still. I write to jot and scribble observations of a worldly, spiritual, existentialist nature. I say nature in conjunction, though mean to stand it fully by itself. The logical, visual, visceral, foreign methods of expression sit, nestled in a batch of words that seem more shallow than a drip’s pool; and, I pour into them with every gland and nerve of this body I was given. I dry myself with slow breathing, only to soak again and slosh about when I wake. I feel like a weathered, angry man when my wife wakes me for what I must do before going off to indentured servitude of a much less harsh variety than was prior to our country’s freedom. I do not ramble; I stroll amongst thoughts as would a day-tripper to the forest: with a sense that there must be a time to leave, but having very little care to get there. And, too, I sometimes stop short, before any sort of insight makes its way through the text I’ve laid to dry, but forgot I did not wash them first.

I forget myself as easily as my PIN for everything other than my debit card. You can see I am but a forgetful bit of man, sunken and raised at the same time, with a hairline border to keep me defined.

Every piece of writing seems so much longer and lasting when written than when read. That’s why I don’t go back to read: disappointment in myself for what my self has written and recorded. Funny, I envisioned my life and saw, long ago, a continued emphasis on what it is I loved: dictation and repetition.

His Mercy

His mercy
shines through
those simple musings on
what is right or wrong or
whatever grey area we make up.
In those
simple musings, He
gives us pause for choice, and we
can make ourselves who we want to be.
…That, my friends, is more than we do for ourselves.

always trust in what you’ve decided.
that includes deciding to discard what was previously decided.

Burying

Burying myself
To be plea-
Sant; the fur-
Thest I can be
From who is
Now held by
Soiled ground.